SAAM reminds us all of need to protect
No one ever says it directly. We hint, we joke, we say things like, “It was complicated” or “It wasn’t that serious.” It’s a tired truth that most of us know more girls who have experienced sexual assault than not, and somehow it’s normalized. Somehow, we rationalize the irrational, justify the unjustifiable, all because we’ve been made to feel like we are at fault.
Every April, Sexual Assault Awareness Month reminds us of this difficult truth: sexual violence is far too common, yet still treated as a taboo topic. Without conversations about consent and appropriate behaviors, we can’t protect one another; can’t protect our youngest.
“If they’re old enough to ask they’re old enough to know,” is a philosophy that when it comes to this heartbreaking topic is all too true. Children are especially susceptible to experiencing sexual violence without recognizing it for what it is, and the signs need to be taught.
One of the most uncomfortable yet eye opening conversations I’ve had was with a former volunteer at the domestic violence shelter. She shared with me one of the most difficult interactions she faced during her time there, which was where a little girl had been conditioned to refer to her abuse as something her parents would think nothing of. She was taught to refer to her genitals as something else, something no one would suspect.
This isn’t to scare parents, it’s to impress upon the idea that age-appropriate conversations need to happen in order to prevent such horrifying events. Children need to know what their body parts are called and who can and cannot interact with them; who is and isn’t safe.
This education needs to extend throughout a lifetime and we all need to take steps to further learn the impacts of sexual assault, especially given that over half of women and nearly one in three men have experienced sexual violence involving physical contact (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention). This statistic doesn’t even account for the non-physical aspects of sexual assault, as well as those who haven’t reported their experiences.
Underreporting is a pressing issue within this topic, especially given society’s tendency to victim-blame. Survivors face a number of barriers when it comes to reporting their experiences -- shame, trauma, and a justice system that too often fails them. According to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, only 25% of sexual assaults are reported to the police.
To be clear, underreporting isn’t a sign of weakness -- it shows that our culture still has a long way to go in how it treats survivors. I’ve known too many people who have silently carried their stories -- the memories tucked away in the back of their minds because the world didn’t feel safe enough to hear them.
Awareness is only the beginning. SAAM is a call to action to believe survivors, educate ourselves, and dismantle the cultures of violence and shame that allow sexual assault to plague our society. This month and every other, let’s shift the question from “What were they wearing?” to “Why are we still tolerating this?”
by Emma Toney
Published April 28th, 2025
Oshkosh West Index Volume 121 Issue VII