Student survey reveals trepidation, concerns over bringing children into an ever changing world
High school students find themselves caught between worlds when it comes to children. Though decidedly past childhood, they themselves are still stepping into a life not governed by the rules of parents and schedules of siblings, perhaps shrinking from looming adult responsibilities. At the same time, as they are constructing their futures, they are faced by the heavy question of whether they want children of their own. If so, how many, and when to start, and what sacrifices are they prepared to make to that end?
A survey of students at West conducted last month sheds light on how students are confronting these questions. From 297 responses, students on average wanted 1.71 children, with 70.4% saying they wanted at least one child at some point in the future.
The true percentage of students with parental aspirations may be higher, however. Many students hesitated to say they wanted children out of concern about their ability to provide for a family when essentials like housing or childcare seem out of reach. Junior Silas Beck credited economic pressures for responding that they would ideally not have children in the future.
“Everything is so expensive, and I know I wouldn’t be able to provide for a kid,” they said in the survey. “I think I’d be a great parent and I love babysitting, but unless prices go down I’m not having kids.”
For others, the potential pride and companionship offered by parenting is secondary to other goals. Senior Summer Zinsli worries that the time commitment of parenting could impede her career progression or keep her from traveling.
“My primary concern regarding children is the potential loss of the personal autonomy and financial freedom that my husband and I worked for,” she said. “Financially, I am concerned that the costs of childcare and education would leave us poor or unable to provide the high quality of life we want for ourselves and potential children.”
Many students suggested that delaying parenthood offers a solution to worries about establishing financial stability, finishing their education, and achieving individual goals.
“I think I will just not have a kid for a while until I’m at the soonest 30-35, because I want to be able to have lots of fun during my 20s and it just depends on where I am when I have kids,” an anonymous survey respondent wrote.
Overall, survey respondents wanted to become parents at a younger age than adults in the US are now typically having their first child. Students’ average ideal age to become a parent was 26.9, but the CDC reports the average age of first-time mothers in 2023 was 27.5, and research by Stanford Medicine found the average age of first-time fathers in 2015 was 30.9. Young adults are going to college at higher rates, marrying at a later age, taking longer to purchase their first home, and face the high costs of childcare and essential goods, encouraging later parenthood. Individuals have more control over their fertility than ever before, with the wider use of contraceptives helping them avoid unintended pregnancies and assistive technologies like IVF making it possible for adults, especially women, to defy their biological clock and have children when it might be more convenient at a later age.
Female students were cognizant of the unique strain that parenting could place on them due to the health complications of pregnancy and traditional expectations that women have greater responsibility for raising children and managing household tasks. Within the first year of birth, 24% of mothers leave the workforce, with 15% of mothers having still not returned to work after 10 years. Even when child care responsibilities are split equally between both parents, mothers are likely to face additional psychological pressures; one study found mothers handle 71% of mental household tasks, like keeping track of appointments and coordinating family events, and mothers report greater stress and fatigue during activities with their children than fathers do.
Junior Hailey Elst acknowledges that many people perceive women as better caregivers than men because of their greater emotional intelligence or biological capabilities, but she believes such views are misguided relics of misguided parenting from the past.
“Seeing how men versus women are raised contributes a lot to the discussion,” she said. “Girls growing up get baby dolls to take care of while boys get trucks. Girls are often encouraged to be gentle and boys are encouraged to be rough.”
Despite the often uneven burden of parenting, there was little difference in the size of family desired by male and female students in the survey. On average, male students desired 1.75 children, while female students wanted 1.79, and male and female students were about equally likely to say they did not want any children (25.7% and 27.5%, respectively).
Students who identified their gender as neither male or female tended to want smaller families than the overall survey population, with an average of 1.0 children desired by these respondents and 63.3% saying they did not want children. These students reported the same concerns with parenthood as others, namely the economy, stress, and the responsibility of bringing another person into an often dangerous and volatile world. Many of their responses also revealed a desire for more kindness throughout society, which was common in responses across the entire sample. Beck described the pressure of social stigma in their survey response.
“For me being a lesbian I feel as if people would think I wouldn’t love my kid,” they said. “I wouldn't want my child to be bullied and be scared of having queer parents. I know what it’s like and I want people to be kinder.”
Concerns about the state of the world were a common reason for students not to want to become parents. In a 2024 survey, Pew Research Center found that, among childless adults ages 18–49, concern about the state of the world was a major reason 38% chose not to have children, and environmental concerns were a major reason for 26%. This was mirrored in the data collected at West, with students often saying they didn’t want to bring a child into the world to protect them from violence, hostile political culture, social discrimination, and pervasive AI and social media influences.
Other students expressed hope that having children could allow them to improve the world in the future by teaching their children important values and providing a nurturing home environment. Junior Aiden Zittlow expressed this view in his survey response.
“I want to raise part of the next generation to be better people than the current population and make better decisions for the world,” he wrote.
For senior Carter Crowe, parenting is also an investment in personal happiness.
“When I’m 60 years old and I’m retired, or when I’m 80 and I’m looking back at life, it’s not going to really matter how much money I made, or what I accomplished in my career. I think it’s going to matter more, what exactly did I create that’s gonna live on?” he said. “Your kids are part of you, and that’s going to continue to exist. And I think that’s kind of a cool concept.”
While reasons for wanting children varied widely from religious custom to a sense of “Why not?” to continuing on a family name, the most common motivation students expressed for wanting to become parents was a simple love for kids and pride in their family.
“I want to be a parent because it is just something I’ve dreamed of since I was a little girl,” wrote one anonymous student. “I want to be able to have the experience of holding my own children and being able to create a human being so special to me and my significant other. I want to give a life to my children, a life I know they deserve.”
Zinsli, who works at a daycare, cautions that parenting is not as idyllic or inherently rewarding as some may assume.
“While I love the children I work with, seeing the constant demands of their physical and emotional needs makes me realize that parenting isn't just a lifestyle choice, but a lifelong commitment of labor,” she said.
Even as it becomes increasingly common not to have children, the survey revealed that parenthood is still strongly considered the norm.
“There isn’t really any reason I want to be a parent; it just seems like something I have to do in my life when I’m older,” wrote one anonymous student.
by Aria Boehler
Published February 9, 2026
Oshkosh West Index Volume 122 Issue IV